After separating from his second wife, Paul was experiencing severe anxiety and depression and was having suicidal thoughts. He was going through court in his divorce, and he was extremely anxious and stressed out about the financial arrangements. In his first divorce a few years ago, his previous wife had taken a lot of money from him. Now his second wife was also trying to take a lot of money from him. He felt that he couldn’t cope with losing more money again and he didn’t want to just hand over the money he had worked so hard for throughout his life to someone else. His mother had died recently so he was also grieving over that loss too and was finding it hard to deal with how “selfish” his wife had become.
This stress was impacting on his mental health. He was not exercising, eating or sleeping well, and was using alcohol to help him sleep. He had plans to end his life and knew exactly how and where he would do it, and what he needed to be able to do it. He didn’t have a date and time to end his life, but he said that if he felt very low in mood, he could go through with his suicidal thoughts to end his life. He said he thought everyone would be “burden free” if he died. In our sessions he was quite shocked when he reflected on the effects his divorce was having on his mental wellbeing.
We went through a safety plan and ensured that he knew services he could access (24/7) if he felt the need to talk to someone and if his suicidal thoughts were to increase. We explored his relationship with his family and how his death would impact on them – something he hadn’t fully considered before. During our sessions we focused on shifting his perspective and his thinking patterns. We focused on building a more positive outlook on life and he learnt coping strategies to help him deal with his issues. He said he immediately felt he was benefitting from counselling and starting to think differently about things. He stopped having suicidal thoughts as his mindset had shifted from wanting to end his life, to wanting to build a life on his own with his children. He has taken great practical positive steps such as starting to go to the gym and working out regularly, cooking more fresh foods and eating healthily. His sleeping pattern has improved and whereas before he felt he needed excessive alcohol to sleep, now he doesn’t need this.
Previously he found himself getting angry, annoyed and worked up with his wife when communicating with her or about her. He recognised that his behaviour would also impact on his children’s mental health and so was able to moderate and change his behaviour to enable communication. He told us that he felt his sessions have helped him immensely and that if he didn’t have any support, he didn’t know what the outcome for him and his mental health could have been. He is appreciative of the support he had through his sessions and thankful that he has been able to change his mindset. His outlook on life was extremely low when we first met, and by the end of the sessions he is feeling so much better and is looking forward to living his life rather than ending it.
