Coping with the loss of a loved one

Following devastating news of my partner’s death, I think I was at the brink of a complete mental breakdown. I didn’t know where to turn for help; I didn’t know what to tell my kids; how to cope with everything myself. All I knew was that I needed a lot of help, from mental health support, to sorting out all the bills, PIP application for my disabled brother. There was so much that I felt completely overwhelmed and I feared for my children as well. First and foremost, as soon as I got the confirmation that the body of my partner was found, I guess I went into a state of shock. Although, I suspected that something terrible happened, you can never prepare for it.

My children attend the Polish Saturday School, and they told me about the support European’s Welfare Association provide so I went to them for help. If it wasn’t for their help, I have no idea where I would be now. Straight away they took me into a room and spoke to me asking what I needed. I told them about my struggles (partner had drug and alcohol problem; there was violence in our relationship – something I was too afraid to talk about to anybody else before; I also have a severely disabled brother who I care for; plus my two children – they were so brave!). EWA offered me access to their Polish counsellor who I see on a regular basis at school. I am so grateful for this. They also looked at all my finances and bills. It was all over the place. I had bills under the name of my partner, my brother, there were different addresses, etc. I wanted to ensure all was paid and my debt was managed properly. They contacted all the providers and negotiated payment plans, got me on a cheaper tariff, sorted out all direct debit payments and everything is now under my name and correct address. They also looked at PIP application for my brother that got stuck few years ago. They are now sorting it out with DWP. Kids continue to attend the school. I feel like without their help it would have been so much more difficult.

EWA have given me so much advice and support with my welfare benefits, bills, finances, and most importantly – support with my mental health. I feel if they ring on my behalf, they get a better outcome and it’s quicker. I am so much calmer and confident that I can cope with everything. The fact that I don’t have to worry if the electricity will be cut off again is really important to me. I told them I am going to tell everyone what they have done for me and that I could not be where I am if it wasn’t for them and their help. I feel like I have my life under control now. I also feel safer having them and their support. The fact I can come and ask for their help is so good and comforting. They know so much! I want to do things myself and I don’t want to be a burden though. Next for me is that I want to move on with my life. I want to know my kids are safe and that I can cope with everything. I definitely want to have more financial control and planning my future.